i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
