please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
