i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
