come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
