And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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