but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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