ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
