There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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