Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
