i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
