I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
