And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
