is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
