all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
