But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
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