Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
