I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
