Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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