White coat. Heels.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
