I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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