i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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