i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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