dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
