Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
