Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Drunk is not a location!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
