Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
