How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
