And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
