I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
