Screwed.edu
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
