Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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