does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
