Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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