Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
