i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
