I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
