I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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