you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
