just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
