lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
