I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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