He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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