So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just threw up on my dentist
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
