how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
