You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
