if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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