good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
