I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
