There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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