i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
