Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
