Can Purell be used as lube?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
