Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
